


A distorted image

by mllesatine



Category: The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth (2011)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Supernatural Elements, alternative versions of characters, attempted noncon, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-07
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-23 12:31:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mllesatine/pseuds/mllesatine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mirror swallows Esca and reveals a different version of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Искаженное отражение](https://archiveofourown.org/works/745842) by [Anerin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anerin/pseuds/Anerin)



It couldn't have happened. You cannot walk through mirrors. Esca breathed, again and again until he felt stars burst behind his eyes. His fingers tried to find hold on the smooth glass. Nothing. He wanted to close his eyes but the other Esca opened his own impossibly wide, forcing him to do the same. And then they heard Marcus shout for them but only Esca on the other side turned his head and saw him. Esca on the inside turned his head to see a black void where the mirror didn't reflect anything.

The other Esca went after Marcus.

Why had he touched the mirror? Esca spend the next hours anxiously waiting for his reflection to come back. He felt as if he had simply stopped existing but why didn't his thoughts stop?

It must have been his touch. He had glimpsed himself in the new mirror, startled by the sharp picture he had presented. How different it had been from the polished silver or calm water he knew. How long his hair had looked. He had touched the curls and seen his reflection do the same. Then he had taken a step forward to trail the lines of his face. Was that what Marcus was seeing every day, he had wondered at the time. But as soon as the touched the glass the world tilted forward and he fell into the empty black space behind the mirror. He turned around just to see himself, the other Esca, look at him horror-struck.

No-one came into the room with the mirror. Esca punched the glass, felt the skin on his knuckles burst but when he looked down nothing was amiss. Hours later the sun set and the light vanished. The black void behind him seemed to close in. He breathed faster and pushed against the glass but nothing happened.

He must have slept because when he sat up Esca was staring at him. Tears ran down his cheeks and Esca felt himself weeping, too.

"What happened?" he croaked and closed his eyes. The other Esca replied: "I don't know." Esca's eyes flew open again.

"What?"

"What?" his reflection echoed. Of course it did. Esca closed his eyes again. The void was filling him now.

"Did he notice?"

"My master suspects something. He said I behave oddly."

"What did you do?"

"We went to the bath and I offered to bring him relief." Esca stared at the hurt look on his own face which meant that he had opened his eyes again.

He had no choice but to speak as his mirror imagine spoke. "He said he didn't want it and that it's disgusting. He sent me away."

Esca turned his head. He would never do that. How could this other Esca even consider it?

"But I've done it a hundred times. How can my master forget it?", he heard his other self say.

"You need to tell him. Tell him that I'm here. Behind the mirror. Make him smash the glass."

"He will never believe it. A slave who has lost his wits is condemned. He will kill me."

"No, not this Marcus. He will believe me. When I talk to him he..."

"What if he can't hear you? What if he can only see me? He will beat me for it."

"No, he won't." But the other Esca got up.

"I need to go." And then he was gone and Esca felt himself disappear again.

Hours or maybe days later he opened his eyes even though all he could see was the void. He needed to be brave. If he wanted to leave the mirror, if he wanted to go back to his life, he had to find a way out of it. And the way he came through was closed. Esca took his hands from the glass, turned around and took his first step deeper into the void.

He couldn't have said how long he kept walking. The darkness was complete. No matter were he set his foot he never felt an obstacle. And yet he had the feeling that, would he turn around or even look over his shoulder the mirror glass would be right behind him. Still offering him a look into the dark and empty guest room of the Aquila villa.

Later he was sure that it wasn't anything he did that changed his fortune. One moment he was walking the next he was falling briefly and then hitting the ground. Stone underneath his hands. He looked at the bed in the guest room. He was free! He was no longer in the mirror!

Marcus stared down at him. He held the mirror in his hands but when their eyes met he let go and the mirror fell to the ground. Esca could tell that the glass didn't shatter.

"Marcus?" he called out, still afraid that Marcus might not see or hear him. The slap Marcus gave him eased his doubt. He was grabbed by the shoulders and shaken.

"How could you hide like that?" Marcus demanded to know. He didn't wait for an answer, just crushed Esca in his arms.

"I don't know what happened."

Marcus looked at him, searching his face. "We thought you ran away. How am I going to explain..." He grabbed Esca by the back of the neck and suddenly they were kissing. The world tilted to the side.

He remembered the other Esca's words and made himself really look at Marcus. Before him didn't kneel the centurion he so grudgingly served, before him was a Roman master. A master who pulled at his tunic and forced him on his back. A master who bit his neck and groaned that he had missed him so much. Esca couldn't blink. Marcus fumbled with his breeches, pushing them down when Esca scrambled away.

"Esca?"

"No. No. No." Then he vomited on the floor.

Esca awoke on the pallet in their room. His head pounded. He had to lean against the wall to find his feet and stand up.

The voice of the older Aquila drifted over. "He needs to be beaten."

"What I do with my slave is none of your concern."

"Then he will run again. Do not come crying to me then."

"I will take my chances."

The voices stopped and Esca heard steps coming closer. Marcus appeared in the door frame.

"You are awake," he said.

"Yes. Yes, domine."

"You are pale. Drink some wine." Marcus limped to the small table and poured two cups. He handed one to Esca. Esca took the cup with shaking hands. They drank in silence.

"Now tell me where you have been." It was an order if he had ever heard one. He looked into Marcus' eyes.

"I went into the mirror."

Marcus smiled thinly. "You've been through a lot. I can see that and will forgive you. Now, answer honestly."

"I went into the mirror."

"That's enough. One more lie and I will beat you."

Esca breathed in. If the other Esca was right, he would die if he kept telling Marcus what happened.

"You saw me," he said slowly, willing Marcus to believe him. "I was in the mirror and I ... I fell out."

For the briefest moment an expression of doubt flashed across Marcus' face before he crushed it. "Fine, you will not tell me where you spend the last three days. By all rights I should have you beaten bloody." His face softened and his gaze moved up and down Esca's body.

"But I cannot see you hurt." He stepped closer. There was no escape. Esca flinched when Marcus cupped his cheek.

"You are nervous. Why?"

What could he say? Domine, I don't want to be touched by you. I would rather die than submit to your desires. But it wasn't true. He had walked through a faceless abyss to get to this place so clearly he wanted this more than dying. He could even admit that he had wondered with the other Marcus, his Marcus, what it would be like.

This Marcus only filled him with revulsion. He went willingly enough to the bed. When Marcus lay on top of him he didn't resist. But it still wasn't enough.

"You kiss like a maiden," this Marcus said, clearly frustrated. "How can one forget this in three days time?"

I never learned it, he meant to say. But he had had a life before Calleva, before the arena and his oath and the mirror. Surprise was on his side when he rolled them over and kissed his master. Marcus gasped and stared up at him. Lust clouded his eyes but underneath Esca could feel the beginnings of doubt bloom. Esca smiled down, like the wolf bared his teeth before he sank them into his prey. He pushed up Marcus' tunic and licked a wet stripe across his chest, biting a nipple. Marcus shuddered.

"Stop that." He brought his legs up but Esca pinned him down again. He had wrestled often enough with Marcus to know the Roman movements.

"You like it, centurion." He ground down. "It makes you hard."

He felt Marcus tense up. "Who are you?"

"I told you I went into the mirror." He let go and stood up, backing away from the bed. Marcus sat up but made no move towards him.

"That is not possible."

"I think the other Esca is on the other side. Maybe we can reach him."

"The other Esca?", Marcus asked.

"The one that was here before."

"You mean my Esca? You have seen him?"

"Yes, your Esca. He is on the other side." Marcus shook his head but Esca could see that he believed him. For a moment he felt the strange urge to go to his knees and comfort him. To let him know that he was still there.

"I'm sure he is still behind the mirror."

So they waited a few hours to steal into the quest room. Esca bid Marcus to place the mirror upright. He felt foolish when he kept his head turned from his reflection.

"Where you in the room when the mirror crashed the first time?"

Marcus shook his head.

"Then you should go." Marcus moved to the door.

"Marcus?" The centurion's back stiffened and Esca knew that calling him by his name was a mistake but Marcus turned around.

"Yes, Esca?"

"Have you found the eagle?"

"What eagle?" The confusion on Marcus' face was unfeigned.

Esca frowned. "Forget what I said. It's not important." Marcus nodded and went stiffly from the room. Esca held his breath and stepped in front of the mirror. His reflection smiled at him.

"Are you ready?" he said. He spread his fingers on the glass and went through. A candle burned where there wasn't one before. Esca stepped to the side, leaving his reflection behind. Marcus was curled under a blanket on the floor. He sat up and blinked sleepily.

"Esca?"

His vision swam. His tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth. He felt foolish and exhilarated at once.

"It's me, Marcus."

"Esca? Esca?" Esca sank down and grabbed Marcus' shoulders. He nodded, and shook with laughter and unshed tears. He wanted to scream and tear his hair out. He got up quickly and grasped the edge of the mirror. Phantom hands pushed next to his own and the glass made a dull sound when it shattered in its frame. He turned around. Marcus stood, too. And he knew suddenly that he was lying to himself and had been for a long time.

The thing he wanted to do most was kiss Marcus.

But he couldn't and instead they gripped each other's arms like friends would and went to the kitchen where Esca ate and drank and listened to Marcus tell him that he and the other Esca had stood vigil for a fortnight in front of the mirror.

"The other … Marcus", Marcus began. "Has he treated you properly?"

"He hasn't done anything you wouldn't do, centurion," Esca replied. It was a cruel answer, he knew. Marcus blushed.

"Esca has told me how it is between them."

"He told me as well", Esca admitted. "I persuaded him quickly that I'm not his." The words echoed in his mind. My Esca, Marcus had said.

"I would never debase you in such a way," Marcus vowed.

He made himself say it. "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more secret comes to light.

Nothing appeared to have changed and yet everything had. Marcus had taken the blame for breaking the new mirror and his uncle had accepted it without asking too many questions. Esca wished he could discard the memory as easily as the shreds of the broken mirror.

Since then Marcus had kept his distance. Where he had leaned on Esca's shoulder, he now prefered his walking stick. Where he had drawn Esca's attention by touching his arm, he now called him. Their conversations ended often in strained silence.

Only while hunting it was almost as before. Esca could throw a spear and be sure that Marcus would catch it. This time Marcus lead them through a silent wood. Esca followed slowly, focused on Marcus' back until Marcus halted his horse and raised a hand. He pointed to the underbush and at once spured his horse. Esca did the same and after a quick and wild chase Marcus had speared a small boar.

Esca dismounted and looped the horses' reins to a tree, absently wiping at the stinging on his cheek where a low branch had caught him earlier. Marcus had a knife out and sliced through the belly of the boar.

"Help me clean it out." The worked side by side, pulling out guts by the handful. Once or twice their hands brushed against each other.

Esca breathed deeply. The guts stank but underneath the smell of fresh blood and rot was a layer of wood and resin. He wished to discard what had happened, to push the memory in a realm of forgotten dreams. His heart still beat wildly from the chase. It would be easy to run away. Right now he could wrench the knife from Marcus and make off with both horses. It would take Marcus hours to get back to the villa. And would he have the strength left to hunt for him?

"Esca?"

"Yes."

"What is it?" Esca realized he must have been staring into the distance like some half-crazed animal. And that's what he felt like. He wanted to run or lash out. Anything to disolve the tension.

"Nothing, centurion."

Marcus squinted and turned his head. "Your leg is paining you," Esca said, not bothering to phrase a question.

"It's fine."

"I can finish. You can fetch us wine." Marcus raised an eyebrow. Esca bowed his head.

"Am I dismissed?" Marcus sounded amused. Esca had noticed before that away from the villa Marcus and he spoke freely. Marcus sat with his legs stretched out and watched Esca skin the boar. When Esca was done, he came over and Marcus held the wine skin out. Esca drank deeply standing over Marcus. The sun hang low, throwing his shadow over Marcus.

"Shall we ride back?"

Marcus held out his hand and Esca grabbed it and helped him up. For a moment they stood closer than was necessary.

"The other Marcus had a lame leg as well," Esca said. He swallowed and forced himself to look at Marcus.

Marcus had turned pale. He let go of Esca's hand. "It's best not to talk about that, Esca."

"I meant to-"

Marcus interrupted angrily. "I will hear no more of it."

"As you wish, centurion."

+++

"I will take Esca."

The older Aquila looked at his nephew with astonisment. "Leave us," he demanded of Esca. Esca still heard Aquila shout that he was a slave, not suitable for a task of these proportions.

Later Marcus repeated: "I will take you with me." He looked at Esca. "You know the land. I will depend on your ... guidance."

"We will need warmer clothes."

"It gets colder?"

Esca bit his lip. "Yes, centurion. You'll have no need of your toga."

Marcus surpressed a wry smile. "Then the gods must favour me after all."

+++

They found that they didn't have need of a lot of things. Rome sank like a mountain vanishing behind the horizon the farther north they rode.

Esca found himself ordering Marcus to take care of the food or the horses. Not once did Marcus demand the respect he was owned as a master.

Marcus had taken a fur throw with him and at night they shared the small space beneath blankets and the fur. Twice Esca woke in the middle of the night with Marcus' arm wrapped around his belly, his head resting on Esca's shoulder.

But as they came closer to the wall, Marcus got restless. When they spotted the structure he nudged his horse closer. Still looking to the wall he said:

"You will behave like a proper slave."

"Have I behaved otherwise?"

"No", Marcus answered. But they both knew it was a lie.

Roman soldiers in their full gear awaited them. When Marcus stated his intent to cross the border, he earned curious stares and some mocking smiles. Reluctantly they were offered shelter for the night.

"There is only wilderness beyond the wall. I can see that you brought your own barbarian but he looks too scrawny to protect you."

"I'm a soldier of Rome. I can defend myself."

The soldier had the good grace not to answer but when he saw Marcus' hindered walk his eyes widened.

"Will the slave share your room?"

"Yes."

So Esca waited in a sleeping cell for Marcus to come back from his dinner with the _optiones_. Marcus looked exhausted when he finally stepped into the small room. The ceiling was hanging too low and he banged his head, cursing quietly.

"You shouldn't have waited for me," he said quietly.

"I had them replace the torn leather strap on your saddle and fill up our provisions."

"Good. Let's sleep and talk tomorrow. I'm too tired."

Marcus undressed to his tunic and sat next to Esca. The cell had only space for a bed and a small stool where an oil lamp burned low. Esca kneeled down to open the ties on Marcus' sandals and Marcus sank back. Like Esca he had made use of the bath, shaved and gotten his hair cut.

"Your leg?"

"Hardly hurts."

"I have oil for a massage."

Marcus pushed himself up. Esca held up the vial of oil. Marcus nodded.

Esca set to work. He warmed the oil in his hands before touching Marcus' thigh. Carefully he rubbed it into the hard, knotted flesh above the knee. The tension in the strained muscles slowly melted away.

"It's strange to feel your touch at one point and then not feel it at all."

"Oh?"

"Where the surgeon cut I have lost all sense of touch," Marcus explained.

Esca looked closer. His thumb grazed the edge of the scar. "Here?"

"No."

He reached a bit higher. "Here?"

"Yes, I can feel it." Esca looked down to where his hand rested on Marcus' leg. If he stretched his hand his fingertips would brush the edge of the tunic. The fork of Marcus' legs was shadowed but it would be easy to grasp him like his.

Just the thought of pulling the tunic ouf of the way send a shiver down his spine. It made him too aware of his own body. He saw himself enclosing Marcus' balls in one hand and swallowing his cock. If Marcus had any sense at all, if they weren't in a Roman garrison but in an open fiel, he wouldn't object. Maybe even take Esca's head in his hands and guide him forward.

Without knowing he had moved his hand higher. At once Marcus sat up and grabbed his wrist.

"That's enough." Esca stared into Marcus' eyes which looked bright and big in the lamp light. Marcus' chest heaved. His grip on Esca's wrist tightened.

"What was that?" he demanded.

"I wanted to help you," Esca answered but as soon as he said it Marcus let go of him.

"I don't remember asking for your _help_ ," he said scowling.

"No. You are far too proud for that." Silence followed like a whipslash.

"You will sleep on the floor tonight," Marcus decided after a moment.

Esca stood up. His face burned. He had been turned down and dismissed. And worst of all his body had betrayed him.

After putting out the light of the lamp he tried getting comfortable on the pallet he had to roll out. Waiting for his cock to soften, he told himself. But while he waited he listened for Marcus to fall asleep.

When he finally fisted his cock he imagined standing over Marcus and having his dark eyes looking up at him. Would Marcus dutifully part his lips if Esca bid him? Would he close his eyes as if he could escape his own desire or hungrily beg for Esca's cock? And would Esca grant him or resist the temptation? With the thought of spending his seed on Marcus' lips he came. Esca listened in the darkness of the room. He couldn't hear Marcus' breathing and for a moment he was sure that Marcus was awake, staring at him. But then Marcus breathed out loudly and Esca closed his own eyes.

+++

The gate fell shut behind them. Without looking back Marcus urged his horse on. The fog of the morning parted for them. All day Marcus barely spoke to him. Esca felt his eyes from time to time.

They made camp with the evening sun warming their backs. The horses grazed to the side. Esca had fettered their forelegs so they wouldn't get far. Soon they would have to guard the horses at night.

They ate in silence. The garrison had provided them with enough fresh food to make every meal a feast for the next few days. The wine was unwatered, the meat spicy. Esca eyed the cake laying between them.

"I wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday," Marcus began suddenly. "When I ordered you to behave like a proper slave and you misunderstood me."

"I didn't misunderstand," Esca answered sullen.

Marcus pretended not to hear him. "You must think the worst of me. Why do you feel bound to me when I have given you no reason to inspire such loyalty?"

"I owe you my life."

Marcu shook his head. "The gods test me. You have seen and spoken to my mirror image, a man who would have no qualms to ... to force you into his bed."

"But he is not you, Marcus."

"When he wears my face? He is exactly like me."

Esca felt his throat tighten. Was he hearing the true reason for Marcus' distress?

"So you would take me?"

Marcus bowed his head. "You know the answer. I told you I would never debase you, our friendship, in this way and I will keep my promise."

"If I wanted you to."

"Like he would? Out of a misplaced sense of duty? Out of fear?"

Esca felt a wave of anger rush towards him. "How can you say that? Have I been coy, _domine_? Bowed and scraped for you?"

"How can you want it? Do you wish to be degraded in this fashion?" Despair made Marcus' voice highpitched and uneven.

Esca closed his eyes and took a deep breath before replying. "You are a damn fool, Marcus," he said levely.

"No, you are. Because I guess you don't know what you are talking about. The practices you speak of will shame and hurt you."

"If I wanted to kiss you, it will bring me shame?" Esca asked incredulous. "Your lips will bruise mine?"

"No. No, you... I can't. Let us not speak of this again."

Esca got up. "I will see to the horses," he announced. He went to the horses first but felt that he had to put more distance between him and Marcus. So for a while he roamed the holt surrounding them. The sun had diped below the horizon when he returned. Marcus lay under his blanket but sat up when Esca approached.

His sword gleamed dully in his hand. "You are back."

"Yes. Do you still want to find the eagle?"

"Of course."

Esca nodded. "Let's go to sleep then."

Marcus made to lie down again. He put the sword away. "I left some cake for you."

"We can eat it tomorrow," Esca replied. He felt placated enough to sleep.

The next day Marcus kneeled before a tree and prayed to his God for a long time. As he got up, Esca saw the pained spasm in his jaw but watched silently as Marcus mounted his horse.

And so they slowly rode North. Sometimes the landscape seemed to swallow them only to spit them out at the top of some rocky hill overlooking endless green and a dripping grey sky. The weather got rougher still, with rains and winds. Marcus did not complain. Nor did he question what Esca told him about the talks he had with the people of the land.

But as Marcus striped off Rome like a cloak Esca - amid the land of his forefathers - felt the clutch of the empire more keenly. The people looked warily at him and he couldn't withstand their questioning gazes.

 

+++

 

"You are still my slave." At last the truth, Esca thought. And suddenly they were in a fight, out to hurt each other, punching and kicking. What a fool he was! Marcus was a true Roman after all.

And like a ripe apple falling in his lap he suddenly had the chance to take back what he had lost, what Rome had taken.

How easy it was to speak the words. How good it felt to see Marcus confused and, when the Seal people had tied his bound hands to a horse, for the first time truly afraid.

"Esca, what's happening? Esca!"

But when he stood on the edge of the Seal camp, looking out at the sea he didn't feel sated or just. He felt the weight of Marcus' life that was placed in his hands. In truth he never had the wish to betray Marcus but he had enjoyed seeing Marcus struggle.

The danger of their situation sharpened when the prince felt the honour of his sister threathened by the "Roman savage". Esca had no choice but to offer up Marcus' life. Had the prince taken him by his word, he would have murdered the man he was sworn to protect.

Hearing Marcus promising to kill him didn't come as a surprise. He desparately wanted to turn back and tell him of his plan. Soon they would have the eagle and escape. And Marcus would be his master again.

But he couldn't say it and walked away.

+++

Even when running for his life Marcus wouldn't let go of his stubborn pride. Twice he asked what the king had said about his father and each time Esca avoided the answer. But the longer they rode the weaker Marcus grew. Esca had to push food at him and constantly turned his head to see if Marcus hadn't fallen from his saddle.

They couldn't risk a fire but when Esca had to kill one of their horses they at least had fresh meat and with Marcus sitting behind him he no longer worried about him falling off the horse. Another fear soon replaced the former: Marcus had a fever. And the Seal people gained on them. Esca strained to hear their dogs barking in the distance. The horse was easy to follow as well in the open. So Esca risked everything and tried to trick them. They stopped by a stream after leaving their horse behind. The cold river washed out the last of Marcus' strength. Near the end he begged Esca to leave him and save the eagle.

"If you want me to leave, give me my freedom."

Marcus almost smiled when the dragged the dagger from his belt and held it out. "You are free."

His eyes clouded when Esca promised to return. Esca brought his hands up, cradling Marcus' head. Later, he told himself. I will kiss his brow when I return. And with this thought he ran.

Finally allowed to cast off his debt Esca placed the dagger next to the body of the Roman. In the shine of the burning pyre he saw a weight lifted from Marcus' shoulders as well.

+++

"Well, Esca. My nephew is in worsened condition. His leg will remain stiff."

Esca looked down. "I thought as much."

"You are allowed to refuse but I would rest easier if you take care of Marcus."

"It is an honour to be considered, domine."

Aquila sighed. "As your patron Marcus will provide work for you. He has got it in his head to build a farm of his own. He can't wait to leave his elderly uncle behind."

Esca had let it be known that he wanted to settle and Marcus was true to his word and had started making preparations.

"Marcus will visit you as often as you wish, domine."

Auqila waved a hand. "I'm merely jesting, Esca. Yet, I feel that he is too hasty in his decisions. Watch that he won't take on more than he can carry."

"Yes, domine."

"You are a good servant of this family. I will not forget that you saved his life."

Esca felt his blush to the tip of his ears. "He has saved mine as well."

"You will honour our agreement and watch over him?" Aquila's piercing eyes rested on Esca, his kindly demeanour gone.

"Yes," Esca answered and gave the word some weight. The moment was broken when Aquila looked past him.

"Ah, there is my nephew. You come without calling. Do you wish to see your uncle one last time?"

Marcus leaned on his walking staff. "The farm is not at the end of the world as you know, uncle. I will visit your house frequently."

"Yes, yes. Esca said as much. You two are like a Greek choir."

Esca smiled at Marcus. Marcus came forward. "Uncle, please give me your blessing. We will be leaving soon."

"You shame me by asking. Come here, Marcus." Aquila stepped forward and hugged his nephew, murmering something Esca couldn't hear. Marcus nodded.

Next Aquila adressed Esca. "Remember what we discussed." Esca nodded which seemed to satisfy him. "I won't detain you longer."

They walked out. Stephanos held their horses. Marcus said goodbye to him as well even though he hadn't done anything else for the last few days. The household had to endure his halting speeches and akward hugs. Esca saw Stephanos' weariness when Marcus made to thank him again. He mounted his horse and Marcus followed suit.

"They will be glad to see our backs," he said when he saw the tight lines of Marcus' face.

"Am I so bothersome?"

"You thanked Sasstica for every honeycake she ever baked. All the animals are in uproar. Have you tried to say goodbye to the chickens as well? It would explain why they won't lay."

Marcus' smile was somewhat forced. "I never thought it would be so hard to leave."

Esca looked back. The farm was still there and would undoubtly be there tomorrow and they days after.

Marcus had seen him turn. "It's bad luck to look back."

"Oh. You should have told me."

"I forgot." The hooves of their horses broke the silence with their measured walk. "I forgot what it means to be a proper Roman." Marcus looked at the road in front of them, avoiding Esca's stare.

"I wish... I want-!"

"If you thank me now, I swear you will land in this ditch," Esca said exasperated.

Marcus surprised him with laughter. "You are a good and honest friend. Come along now. Our home is waiting." And he spured his horse on.

+++

They sat under an apple tree and watched the sun set. Colours Esca didn't know how to describe streaked the clouds. The air had started to cool and soon they would have to go back to the farm.

They had not spoken much but the silence was no longer unbearable. Esca sat next to Marcus and for now he was content to wait. He hadn't forgotten the promise he had made to himself. He would get his kiss.

Marcus seemed to read his thought when he looked at him and soon his gaze was drawn to Esca's lips. Esca kept his silence and watched the sky.

"You are making it hard for me to find the words," Marcus began.

"It's not words I want."

Marcus exhaled. He slowly lifted his palm to Esca's cheek. Esca felt the shaking of his fingertips. Marcus kissed him lightly, his lips pressing to the corner of Esca's mouth. Esca smiled and Marcus kissed his dimples and the bow of his upper lip until Esca's smile vanished and he had to gulp for air.

"You are right. I was a fool," Marcus said and didn't wait for an answer before kissing him again. Esca moved back and tugged on Marcus' tunic until he leaned over him. Their lips moved against each other.

"Tell me what you want," Marcus urged.

"Anything."

Marcus stared at him. "No, tell me. I need to know this."

Esca sighed but before Marcus could trip over his words again, Esca pushed Marcus into the grass and kneeled between his legs. He blinked against the memory of the other Marcus staring up at him. Instead of anger he felt giddy excitement when he leaned down to tug at Marcus' hair. Marcus lifted his head and let himself be kissed. He grabbed Esca's waist and pushed up his tunic.

Goosebumps prickled his skin when he pulled the tunic off. "We should go back."

"I will warm you," said Marcus and sat up. He dropped his head to Esca's shoulder and a moment later Esca felt his tongue trace his collarbone. He shuddered. Marcus tightened his grip on Esca's arms and pulled him closer.

He concentrated on hearing Marcus' ragged breathing, the tickling of his hair and beard and the slow sweep of his tongue under Esca's ear. Hands trailed down his back and up again.

"I can think of a better use for your tongue," Esca mumbled. Marcus stilled his hands and said so quietly that Esca wouldn't have heard him if he hadn't been holding his breath: "Yes?"

Esca couldn't keep from smiling. "Must I beg?" he teased.

Marcus pulled away and looked at him. A flush had spread from his neck to his hair line. "Let's go back," he said.

Esca took his tunic from the grass and stood. His cock strained against his breeches, so he reached down and tugged it up.

Marcus got to his feet as well and started to walk back. Esca followed. The sky had darkened. When they reached the farm and entered their sleeping room, Marcus pulled his own tunic off and stood silently in front of Esca. Marcus' gaze remained glued to the floor. Esca loosened the drawstring on his breeches and stepped out of them.

He sat on the bed, his legs far apart. Marcus didn't move. His face reddened even more when he finally looked into Esca's eyes. At once he dropped his gaze and stepped forward.

Esca frowned when Marcus kneeled down with some difficulty. "Sit on the bed with me," he suggested but Marcus shook his head. Esca couldn't see his expression with his head bent so low but then all thought flew from his mind when Marcus' broad hand reached out and guided his cock to his mouth.

He felt Marcus' lips opening wider, felt Marcus' tongue pressing against the head, licking off a trickle of seed. With only the lightest touch to the back of his neck Marcus took him deeper. The root of his cock was still in Marcus' fist but the rest was in Marcus' mouth.

Marcus treated him like he would suck honey from a comb. Esca felt light-headed but still pushed Marcus back when he spent. It only caused his seed to land on Marcus' chin and chest.

It would have been funny if Marcus wasn't steadily avoiding his gaze. With the back of his hand he wiped his chin, stood up and turned to the washing bowl. Esca heard him sloshing around, rinsing his mouth and using a wet rag.

Marcus' head was still bowed when he went to bed. He undressed and Esca made room but when he saw Marcus flaccid he faltered.

Marcus placed the blankets over them and turned on his stomach.

"Marcus, how can I please you?"

"You have pleased me," Marcus said into the crook of his arm.

"You have spent?"

"Yes. When I ... was kneeling."

Esca could finally tell that Marcus was embarrassed. He wondered if Marcus had tugged at himself with his other hand or if he had simply rubbed against the fabric of his breeches. Unsure of what to do he remained half lying, half sitting until Marcus placed a hand above his heart and pulled him down. With the weight of Marcus' hand on his chest he fell asleep.

As it had been for the last months Esca awoke first in the morning. He was pleased to find Marcus curled around him and kissed him without thought. Marcus woke at once and rubbed at his eyes.

Smiling Esca moved a hand down Marcus' belly and grasped his cock. Marcus' mouth fell open.

"I wanted to do this yesterday," Esca told him. "But you got there first.“

"I couldn't help it," Marcus confessed. Again he blushed but didn't try to stop Esca. Esca pushed the blanket down and looked at the hard cock in his hand.

"Are all Romans made like that? I can barely fit my hand around you."

Panting Marcus replied: "You have small hands." Esca laughed and tightened his grip.

"Are all Romans good at sucking?"

Marcus closed his eyes in pleasure. "Am I good?"

"Very good," Esca assured him. Marcus groaned. "You are good at sucking my cock." Esca had timed his strokes to his words. Marcus could barely keep still under him. He brought his own hand up and drew Esca to him, stroking his tongue against Esca's lips.

After Marcus spilled his seed on his belly, Esca climbed on top of him.

"Can I fuck you?"

Marcus' eyes snapped up. "Now?"

"It's still dark out," Esca said. He drew his finger across Marcus' belly and coated his cock with Marcus' seed. The hiss and flame of his desire was only fanned by Marcus' gaze. He had never known that being looked at would give him so much pleasure. He rolled his back like a cat lazing in the sun.

"Do you want me to turn around?" Marcus asked after a moment.

On the tip of his tongue was an answer he hoped would make Marcus blush even more. He wanted to tell him that he'd rather have him like that, to wrench his legs apart and sink in. To see Marcus' mouth slacken in pleasure.

Esca leaned down and sweeped his tongue across Marcus' lip as he had done a few moment before. This time Marcus wouldn't yield. Esca drew back. Marcus breathed out. His face seemed to be made of stone, the cords in his neck standing out.

"Tell me how much you want to be fucked," Esca prompted. A cruel edge had crept in his voice.

Marcus squinted. Esca saw the corner of his mouth being pulled into an angry snarl before he turned his head to the side.

Esca straightened his back and let got of his aching cock. Cold anger washed over him.

"Do you plan on lying there stiff like you are still waiting for the surgeon's knife?" he demanded to know.

Marcus made to sit up, pushing at Esca's shoulders.

"Will you not answer?"

Marcus grabbed Esca's arm and wrenched him to the side. Surprised Esca lost his balance and fell from the bed. He rolled to the side and drew himself up.

"I know what you think. You will let me do it so you won't feel guilty when you want to fuck me."

"You stupid prick!"

"Will you pretend that I'm still your slave then?" Esca continued.

"I told you I would never demand that from you!" Marcus shouted.

"If it's such a degradation why let me-?"

"I want you to!" Marcus interrupted. "I just ... I can't say the words." Esca fell silent and Marcus pressed on. "I won't say it. You think it's easy? You damn Brigante! You can't make me."

Esca went to his knees. "Marcus," he began and reached out with his hand. "I apologise. I shouldn't have said-!"

"Leave."

Esca bit his lip and nodded. He swallowed his hurt and anger, put on his breeches in silence and left. In the stable he did his work without much thought. He had done it hundreds of times before. After a while he heard the door of the house open and close. He wanted to apologise again but he still didn't know what went wrong. And the sun was now up and their farm hands were due to arrive.

He went out and saw two men walking up the road to the farm. Esca came to greet them and tell them what they would do. Dorsuo he sent to fire the furnace. Marcus would probably stay in the kitchen to prepare the haunch of deer they had taken with them the day before. A cook came every day but Marcus had told her that she wasn't needed for breakfast.

Esca hadn't eaten anything but he was not about to go back and face Marcus. He spent the morning working with the farmhand Ambustus on cuting furrows. When the sun had reached its zenith Dorsuo came out to the field and brought them a meal of wine, bread and lentils. The wine tasted sour in Esca's mouth and he asked for more water but the lentils had been cooked in boar fat and seasoned with the herb Esca had collected a few days before. Marcus told him that the plant was called ligusticum and Romans also used it to flavour their food.

He was more than tired when the day's work was done and their workers went home. His feet felt leaden but he walked in and found Marcus sitting at a table. He scratched at a waxen tablet and didn't look up. Esca sat opposite him.

"I wondered if you would come back," Marcus began.

Esca swallowed. "Do you want me to leave?"

Startled Marcus looked at him. "No."

"I have wronged you, Marcus. And I apologise."

Marcus put the tablet away. "I'm not good at speaking about these things. Do you remember when I told you that I'm not like the Marcus in the mirror? In the eyes of Rome I'm a lot worse."

Esca thought back. The other Marcus had responded much like Marcus had when Esca had ground against him. But he had turned to anger and strangled his desires like a proper Roman.

"I think you are wrong," Esca replied. "The other one, he wants to be like you. But he doesn't have the courage. You are the better man. In my eyes at least."

Marcus wiped at his eyes. "I hurt you, I curse you, yet you stay loyal."

"You have my heart in your hand, Marcus." Marcus' smile was wobbly but he reached across the table and put his hand on Esca's arm.

"You have mine."

**Author's Note:**

> The first part is a [kink meme fill](http://the-eagle-kink.livejournal.com/2132.html?thread=1634644#t1634644) that was expanded.
> 
> Some names were taken from the [Nova Roma Wiki](http://www.novaroma.org/nr/Main_Page).
> 
> Unbetaed and I would appreciate it if mistakes are pointed out.


End file.
